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How to Achieve Hours-Long Full-Body Orgasm
There are many different types of orgasms: anal, clitoral, vaginal, long orgasms, sex orgasms, and energy orgasms, to name just a few. In this piece, we are honing in on full-body, or tantric, orgasms. This is an intense type of orgasm that is felt in, yes, you guessed it, every single part of your body.
We’ll explore how full-body orgasms relate to tantra practice, and offer some advice on how you can experience one (or many) full-body orgasms. In short, we’re here to help you say, oh, oh, oh, O, so in the spirit of Marvin Gaye, let’s get it on!
Tantric Orgasm: What is it?
The terms full-body and tantric orgasm are often used interchangeably. They are generally linked to the practice of tantra and more specifically to tantric sex. Tantra refers to a philosophy with roots in Hindu and Buddhist practices that emerged in India around the 6th century. The goal of tantra is spiritual enlightenment, which is accomplished through integrating the spirit, mind, and body.
Tantra practice focuses on using the body’s sensations as a way to shift awareness into the present moment and to develop a sense of connectedness. Tantric sex is a part of tantra practice. The goal is to forge a deep connection with yourself and, if applicable, your partner(s). It’s often slow and meditative, where a heightened sense of intimacy is the main intention rather than procreation or orgasm. Neither sexual intercourse nor genital touching is required to have a tantric experience.
Full Body Orgasm
In tantric sex, full-body orgasms don’t always happen through oral, penetrative, or digital (i.e. with the fingers) sex. In fact, they can occur with no touch at all. This is also called an energy orgasm, which centers on meditative techniques and some imagination to reach the full-body release.
It is important to note that there are different approaches to achieve a full-body orgasm. We are focused on the tantric approach, one of the most common, but there are other methods which don’t involve tantric practice. These methods often focus on combining sensations from different erogenous zones. For example, stimulating both the clit and the nipples at the same time.
Similar to genital orgasms, the key to tantric and full-body orgasms is to build up sexual energy. Instead of localizing this energy in your genitals, you expand and build it throughout your entire body. This practice can also lead to longer-lasting orgasms. Cool, right?
Let’s take a look at why these orgasms last longer.
Why Is A Tantric Orgasm Long?
Tantric sex requires practitioners to focus on the present moment and employs meditative breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, to promote relaxation. This practice prolongs the sensual experience – a tantric session, sometimes called slow sex, can last from one to four hours (or more!) – allowing more sexual energy to build up in the body and increasing arousal.
When most people near orgasm, they tense their body and take shallow breaths. They then reach the peak, or climax, and a sense of euphoria can follow. This feeling generally dissipates after a few seconds: anywhere between ten seconds and two minutes are times recorded by researchers. In contrast, the deep breathing techniques in tantric sex let you feel the sensations in your body more distinctly. You then have more control over your arousal and sexual energy, which means that these feelings of euphoria can last far longer.
Deep Breathing Techniques
As you reach climax, you can pause stimulation, use your breath to redistribute your sexual energy, and then start the stimulation again. This practice, also referred to as edging, can work for people of all gender identities and varied physiologies. It’s one of the main reasons tantric orgasms can last longer than genital orgasms.
Don’t worry if you don’t quite get everything yet. We’re going to give you some tools you can use to help you reach a tantric and full-body orgasm.
How To Tantric Orgasm?
Before we dive in, remember, orgasm is not the main goal of tantric sex. Whether an orgasm happens or not is never the measurement of a full sexual experience of any kind, and ultimately does not have to be what decides if play continues or finishes. You may experience many orgasms in one session, or none at all. When pleasure is the goal of the play, rather than orgasming, you are more likely to have an enjoyable sexual experience. This decentring of orgasms can help to minimize pressure to “perform” during sexual experiences – something tantric sex can also help to address. It may seem counter-intuitive, but ultimately, by taking your foot off of the gas and allowing yourself and your partner/s to step away from pressurizing orgasms, and focus on being present and on what feels good, you all have a higher probability of enjoying your sexual experiences.
With that in mind, here are a few techniques you can try:
Practice mindfulness: Stay in the present moment. Let your thoughts come and go and be aware of your bodily sensations.
Pay attention to your body without judgment: Explore your body, and not just your erogenous zones. Stroke your wrists, ankles, and inner thighs varying the pressure and intensity. Focus on the sensations, and notice what feels good.
Use your senses, all five of them: Remember that candle we suggested you get out? What does it smell like? What does your room with the lights dimmed look like? Can you hear anything? Chirping birds, the wind? What does your skin feel like underneath your fingertips? Engage all of your senses. Not only will it help you stay mindful of the present moment, it will also help you to relax and to connect with your body and environment.
Undulate your body: When you are being stimulated, or stimulating yourself, do like the backstreet boys and “rock your body”. This helps to maximize pleasure as it lets you keep your whole body engaged and active during a sensual experience.
In addition to these techniques, there are also a few tantric exercises you can try either alone or with your partner(s).
Tantric Exercises For Full-Body Orgasms (for solo and partnered play)
Orgasmic Breathing
Orgasmic breathing and edging are two great exercises for full-body orgasms that you can do solo or with your partner(s). To practice orgasmic breathing, draw out your breath during masturbation or a tantric session. If you prefer a more specific breathing pattern try box breathing: inhale for four-counts, then exhale for four-counts. Don’t be afraid to get as loud as you want, if you feel comfortable or are in an environment to do so! Relax and let everything go.
Tantric Sex Techniques
If you are practicing tantric sex with a partner(s), you can also try the following:
Eye gazing: Sit face to face with your partner, and look into each other’s eyes. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but resist breaking eye contact. After a few minutes, you may start to feel more relaxed and more connected to your partner.
Synchronized breathing: Match your breath to your partners. This helps to promote feelings of greater intimacy.
Full body massage: This is another great method to help you and your partner relax and get into the mood. You can also incorporate lotions and essential oils.
Tantric Sex Positions
If you are practicing tantric sex with a partner, try out some positions that encourage eye gazing and synchronized breathing:
Hand on heart: Sit, criss cross applesauce style, facing your partner. Place your right hand over your partner’s heart and have your partner place their right hand over your heart. Pay attention to how each other’s heartbeats feel.
The Lotus (Yab Yum): Facing each other, one partner sits on the floor cross legged, while the other sits on their partner’s thighs with their ankles crossed behind their partner’s back. This is the classic tantric sex position and is also known as the tantric hug.
There is no formula that will guarantee a full-body orgasm, and what works for some might not work for you. If a full-body orgasm is something you want to experience, the best path forward is practice. As the adage goes, practice makes perfect! Luckily, in this case, practice can be just as fun and as enjoyable as the potential orgasm itself.
What Does It Mean To Be A Pillow Princess?
Welcome to the magical world of pillow princesses! If you’re unfamiliar with the term, don’t worry, that’s why you have us. We are going to walk you through what it means to be a pillow princess – or pillow queen – and examine how it can be both a damaging stereotype, and a label some like to wear proudly. So, let us take the lead. We’ll be your guide on this spellbinding journey.
Lay back, relax, and let’s get into it.
What Is A Pillow Princess or Pillow Queen?
What does pillow princess mean? At its core, a pillow princess is someone who prefers to receive touch, or sexual stimulation, rather than giving it. Pillow queen is a variation on the same theme, although maybe with the added connotation of imperious mastery over partners.
Where “Pillow Princess” Came From
The term pillow princess first popped up in queer media during the 90s – the decade that also gave us Tamagotchis, the Spice Girls and the Macarena (in case you forgot). The phrase pillow princess originated in the LGBTQIA+ community to describe women (queer or not) who were keen on receiving, but not giving, oral sex.
Today the term is more broadly used and may refer to a person of any gender or sexuality. It is also not limited to oral sex. Pillow princess can refer to a partner who takes pleasure in being fingered or penetrated with a strap-on, but who may not enjoy or want to penetrate their partner. Pillow queen is another term that some may use to describe this dynamic. The two are often used interchangeably.
You may also encounter the phrase “pillow-biter”. This is not the same thing as a pillow princess or pillow queen. “Pillow-biter” is a derogatory way to refer to someone, often a homosexual man, who receives anal sex. It’s a homophobic term, so leave it out of your sexual vocabulary.
Pillow princess vs starfish
“Being a starfish” is another phrase you may hear that is also associated or used interchangeably with pillow princess. As the name suggests, it describes a partner who lays unmoving, arms and legs sprawled, during a sexual encounter. Generally this term is considered pejorative, which brings us to our next question: is being called a pillow princess an insult or a compliment? Should I feel empowered or offended by the label?
Pillow princess: insult or compliment?
Here is where things get tricky. Pillow princess is nuanced and has both negative and positive connotations. Some people use the moniker to put-down their partner(s), or others. The term may insinuate that those who prioritize their own pleasure during a sexual encounter are lazy, or a bad partner. Calling someone a pillow princess in this case is seen as insulting or even derogatory.
Using the term as an insult may reinforce the stereotype that to enjoy receiving pleasure is selfish. Some sex educators argue this negative connotation stems from our culture’s tendency to prioritize the pleasure of cisgender, heterosexual men. Villainizing pillow princesses could discourage some individuals from exploring their own desires and discovering what works best for them. If you are always focused on giving rather than receiving, it may be more difficult to suss out what you want from a sexual encounter.
Looking for a pillow princess?
In contrast, positive connotations of pillow princess may apply to kink, dominant/submissive relationships, or BDSM. Some people favor partners who want to be on the receiving side during their sexual rendezvous. This has led to some dating apps, like HER, adding pillow princess as an optional tag to include on your profile.
Let’s explore the pillow princess kink and pillow princess BDSM a bit more deeply.
Pillow princess kink
For those seeking someone submissive, or who enjoy watching their partners be pleasured, a pillow princess may be a perfect fit. A pillow princess may also pair well with those who identify as a “stone”, or a “stone top,” someone who prefers to give during sexual pleasure rather than to receive, or a “touch-me-not” (TMN), someone who prefers not to be stimulated, or touched, during a sexual encounter. It is sometimes said that a “stone top” is the opposite in some ways to a pillow princess. Like pillow princesses, people who identify as stone or TMN can be equally stigmatized on the opposite side of the so-called “giving” spectrum in sexual experiences, all the while fighting to be proud of their identities, and understood as sought-after partners. As with pillow princesses, it’s important to create space and understanding for what different people enjoy in their sexual lives without judgement or stigmatization, and if you, your friend or partner(s) identifies as a stone, or TMN, we’re here to celebrate that as a unique and valid identity.
Being open and honest about your sexual preferences with your partner(s) is key. For example, if you need to receive oral to feel sexually satisfied, then you may want to discuss that with your partner(s). Open communication about your preferences is the first step towards more fulfilling sexual experiences – and who doesn’t want that?!
We should all learn to respect the pillow princess identity the way that many in the queer, BDSM and kink community have. If this label describes you: get out there, and own it!
Pillow princess test
Do some of these sound familiar? Curious to know if pillow princess is a term you might want to claim as your own? Here are some signs you may identify as a pillow princess:
You may receive more than you give and prefer it that way.
Your favorite positions may be the ones where you’re laying down—think missionary or spooning.
You may prefer to use sex toys when you masturbate rather than your hands.
You may enjoy dirty talk.
Your primary kink may be bondage.
How to not be a pillow princess: the opposite of pillow princess
All or some of these points may apply to you, but it is your decision whether or not you want to claim the pillow princess title. If, after reading this, you conclude the pillow princess crown is not for you, let it adorn another’s head. Never go against what feels right for you, or act out of fear of being labeled a pillow princess.
Remember, how you experience and feel pleasure is personal. What works for some might not work for others. What some enjoy, others may not—including being active or passive during a sexual encounter. It is important we discuss our needs with our partners, and we don’t shame others for their sexual preferences.
Where can I learn more?
So, you’ve made it to the end of the article. Congrats! We hope we’ve fulfilled your desires and have given you what you were looking for: an introduction to the bewitching world of the pillow princess. But, after all this, are you eager to learn more? Don’t worry. We’ll make it easy for you.
Check out our upcoming workshops and masterclasses. You can also download our Killing Kittens app, the fastest growing adult social network. Our app provides a great forum for you to meet people, whether you’re looking for friendship, romance, or anything in between. Join the conversation on official KK chat groups, or start your own private chats with new friends. This is your space to explore, uninhibited, and to express your full, sexual self. Come on in! Our door is always open.